Wanted: Someone Who Is Willing To Work 24/7

The applicant must have extensive experience in:
diaper changing, feeding, making meals, coloring every animal on the planet, reading the same books over and over, boo boo healing, deal making, settling arguments, explaining why the sky is blue at least 8 times, the ability to chase monsters away from under the bed, to do at least ten to fifteen loads of laundry a week, make trips to the doctor, dispense the correct medication, take a temperature correctly, go to Wal-Mart at anytime-day or night, make grocery lists and actually follow them and budget the household money. Knowing how to make a sandwich while cleaning hands, talking on the phone, counting to three and hushing a crying baby is also essential along with proper use of time-outs, spanking, and other methods of punishment that will not send the child to therapy. The applicant must be prepared to get woken up at any time during the night and not return to sleep until the following night. Being able to clean up vomit, poop and other bodily functions is a must!! Teaching skills are very necessary and different learning levels will need to be addressed daily. The ability to not lose your keys, sunglasses, cell phone, diaper bag, purse, your mind or a child is also required. Taking kids to play dates, the pool, soccer practice, and pre-school while keeping the weekly schedule straight is necessary for the success of this job.
The following qualifications must be met in order to make the above list work:
a never ending love for the ones being cared for, sacrifice of self to a certain degree for the rest of your natural life, having an unshakable faith in God, knowing when YOU need a time-out and remembering this is the most important job you will ever have.

Any of you moms out there can probably come up with more things that must "qualify" us for the job. Do you think we would have passed the interview if given before we actually had our children??? Jeremy and I were discussing everything stay at home moms do EVERYDAY. It's a never ending list. Thank God He doesn't expect us to be perfect. We just need to love Him, our spouses and our children as much as we can and try our best.